Thoughts on recent tragedy

When I saw news about the carnage in Paris, I could feel my heart and my voice drop to the bottom of my stomach. 
     My reaction has been shared by many. I've seen many postings and comments mentioning Beirut, which had 2 bombings a few days before Paris that killed 43 people and injured over 200 more. There was more coverage on Paris than Beirut. I believe that both are tragic. Both are claimed by ISIS. Both leave survivors living with fear and no sense of security, which is a basic need for life.
    But there are a few reasons why Paris was covered more than Beirut. These reasons do not excuse anything nor does it mean that Paris and its people are more important than Beirut and its people.
    We in the US are almost desensitized to hearing and reading about tragedy in the Middle East. It's a shame to say, but we have created an image for the Middle East, not on purpose, but through the stories we hear in media outlets and our conflicts there, that is an image of bombings, terror, and war.
I think that for us, knowing a city like Paris went through a terrible attack, hits closer to our feeling of security than the tragedy in Beirut.
    Paris is a vacation spot. It's on everyone's travel list. We imagine lights, lovers, art, and fresh bread. It's a place most of us can picture ourselves in.
  This, I believe, is one of the reasons that Americans are so distraught. To know that Paris could be attacked puts a little more fear into us than bombings that seems too far away in the Middle East.
   Now, I admit, I am a little sensitive when people blame "The Media" as if it were one big machine. That being said, I do believe that a free media is a reflection of its society and this is one reason why we would see more coverage of Paris than Beirut. Americans identify more with Paris and we are more shocked by that news. It is not right or wrong, it is a reflection of us. There was coverage on Beirut, at least by my main news source, NPR. If it wasn't on your radar, consider expanding your news sources.
   I don't pray, but I do believe in energy and love, which I send not just to Paris and Beirut, but to everywhere there is people without a sense of security in the world, people who are left with too much fear and not enough ground to sleep on.

What's in Australia?

After a long hiatus (a period of my own forgetfulness, writing blocks, and procrastination) I fully intend to pursue this blog with a greater force than past effort. Special thanks to curious, helpful prodding from a caring person. 

I'm taking a year off from school to de-stress, re-finance, travel, and breathe. While I hope there will be enough money for me to return to Stony Brook, I am applying to other schools and keeping my options open so I can avoid furthering the black hole of student loans. I'm truly looking forward to this year and am enjoying it so far. I want to read more, ski more, and finally watch Gilmore Girls with my sister.
While embarking on our Gilmore Girls adventure, I encountered a quote or line or what have you that I love. Rory's grandfather tells his friends she is going to go to Fez someday, when they question "What's in Fez?" he answers "That's for her to find out."
That's awesome.
We may know what is in a place as far as landmarks, like the Taj Mahal or cuisine, plants, and animals, but there is so much more that you can't know until you've been to a place.
Why am I going to Australia and New Zealand? Well, I want to travel. Also, one of my best friends will be in Darwin on exchange. And it's an opportunity to travel with my best friend/boyfriend, The Alaskan Bear, and another dear friend, Mitchell. I saw a reason to go and there is plenty (too much) to explore in Australia.
What's in Australia? That's for us to find out. I'll let you know.

Semester Coming to an end. Really soon. I swear.

New York! Why are you eating away my summer??
Although, the city seems like an awesome place to be now, and the beaches are beckoning, I need to get back to Alaska. To my 10 PM sunlight. Also, to my job. I'm broke as a joke.
Speaking of housing is still on the fritz- but IT WILL BE SETTLED SOON.
It has to be. It just has to. For my sanity.
Bright side: This is the last week of classes! YAY!
Downside: I have two finals...the last two days of finals.
Bright side: I have time to go to the beach!
Short Post and Rambles, I'll leave you to it now.

Positive Post

I'm not wallowing in deep emotion all the time.
In fact, the majority of the time I'm pretty positive and generally content.
It's just that very powerful emotions often propel writing and fuel minds more easily than day to day life. Be it anger, sadness, or elation.
And I feel the need to be very honest here and tell what I feel. At the very least, even if no one sees, it's therapeutic.
Don't worry, I'm overall fairly happy.
Occasionally, maybe more than others, I have dark moments.

My life right now is very busy and going at the speed of light.
It feels slow, but the weeks go by in a blink- does that make sense?
Between class, Rugby, copy editing and writing for the Indie, and homework, as well as procrastination and hanging out with friends, I have little time to decompress. Maybe this adds to my outbursts of panic, "genius", and angst.

Anyway, as I progress, I still love the same organizations as I did when I set my sights on journalism. National Geographic would be my ultimate dream job. Travel, photojournalism, environment, animals, telling stories and sharing pictures from places no one thinks about daily. The second dream job, working for National Public Radio. Radio was a big part of my intake of news growing up and it's my favorite way to get my news. These two organizations are two of my favorites and have a special place in my heart.

Of course, any other publication that would allow me to do the same work as those two would make me just as happy. As long as I get to go far and wide- through work or my own making. I'm not sure there are words for how much I feel the need to see as much as I can of the world.

One month until I visit Denver and the beautiful friends I have there for three days and then back to my beautiful town and the 10 pm sunlight. People don't understand how wonderful midnight sun is. Maybe I just like light a lot, but I think it's one of the best things about summer.

Before I go, though, I get to go to the Hampton beaches on the South shore of the Island. A little TLC with friends during finals week. Good for the body, mind, and soul.

What did I get myself into?

Should I have looked harder for a J-school?
Should I have sprung the non-existent funds for a private college?

Every hundredth time I am asked "Why'd you choose Stony Brook?" I lose a little bit of the purpose and conviction I came here with. Every time someone says these sickening words, I believe my answer a little less.

Now I question myself.
Not because it's small, or new (actually, I like that). Not because Stony Brook cannot be found by noses far above my head.
I remain quite confident in the professors I've met and my abilities to withstand professors that may lack their own ability to teach and nurture minds.

The one question I'm asking is: What the hell did I step into?
This funny, quirky world of the J-school also has an eery tinge that I can't stomach. Something is off.
I've made it sound more sinister than it may come to you, but that's how I feel about it. Two truly alarming qualities, one that Stony Brook can't help. But another that they can.

No one can be held responsible for vultures: Students (or anyone) of an unbearable competitive nature that feeds off of the bones of others. No, Stony Brook, I won't blame you for the assholes. There are many of them in the world. I'm just going to have to suck it up. 

I am going to hold you responsible for your microscopic view. I think (I hope) you're working on one aspect of this problem: The focus on Long Island and New York. I've brought it up. Yes, New York is a hub for journalism. That's great. It's one of the reasons I chose your school. But I'm not really looking to stay in this area. Or even the United States.

The second aspect is one that I'm only picking up on as I talk to other students and continue in the program. There is a huge focus on hard news. Which is great. I love hard news. But I also love other forms of journalism. Now, I will say, I'm not so sure how much of an issue this is. As I'm new and fresh, I don't have a gauge for real problems in the program. But I have ears. I listen.

Why would I want to go to a school where all the other people in my program question why the hell I came from so far to go there? When I hear complaints. The same complaints. Over and over. Is that not supposed to corrode my confidence and happiness over time?

I'm hoping I can bring a bit of Alaskan-ness to the J-school and mix it up a bit. I'm hoping I can withstand these decaying wounds to my conviction.

In the end, I want to go places, Stony Brook. I want to inspire and inform.
I thought I made the right choice. Am I listening to the wrong people? Or will I find the same frustration?
This isn't a critique. It's just worried thoughts from a girl who wants to bring a little change to the world. Who has no clue how to do it yet.
In the end do I even need a degree in Journalism? It's not really required. Even to achieve brilliance. So really, J-schools need to bring something extra to to the table to entice it's students to stay. What are you giving me that I could not possibly give up for something that could be more enjoyable or help me more? If i am of any bright mind, I need not stay.

Can you help me? Or do you just want to mold me into what you think a journalist should be?

A Male Advocate for Women's Rights

      Today, in one of my favorite classes, Sociology of Human Reproduction, we had the pleasure of one of the greatest guest speakers I have heard. (It could be that earlier in the week I experienced on of the worst.)
     Mohammad Naeem is, as I've experienced and read in my life, a rarity. Not quite a unicorn. Perhaps a narwhal- we know they exist, but who sees them?
      He is an advocate for Women's Rights. He gives talks to world leaders about Women's Rights issues and gender equity. He is a 2013 graduate of Stony Brook University. He is a male. 
      Lately in the class, we have been discussing more about the male role in reproduction. Men and abortion, men and birth or pregnancy, men and gender equity. Where is the male voice?
In some of the studies we discussed, the majority of men felt like they had no voice or place politically or otherwise in abortion or the birth process. More importantly they really hadn't thought about abortion or pregnancy much before their situation now.
      An interesting study in Sweden, which consisted of older men, were the men actually had thought about it. They had found a voice. A place.
     Mohammed came to this path because of this class, yes, but also his mother. She was a victim of gender based violence. He felt powerless as an 8 year old, watching his mother be hurt by his father. He served as her council in trial at the age of 18 against his father.
He believes that women in these places, a widowed mother of six, women living on mere dollars a day, victims of violence, they don't need a handout that many try to give. He said they need hope. The oppression they have gone through have diminished their own hopes, desires, and dreams. They need them back.
      He encouraged his mom to get economic independence. She is now a chef to the Afghan ambassador at the UN here.
     Many men and women, if they have not been victims themselves know a victim of this violence. I know a few, one woman in particular I think of. I won't say her name, but her strength and optimism is inspiring. She is one of the few people I admire.

So why is it that we seem to overwhelmingly hear from the women?

Why is it that men aren't well represented in Women's Rights, gender equity, reproduction, and abortion?

I hope that the men in my life would have something to say on these issues and topics. If they don't, then they should start thinking about it. Even if it doesn't feel like you have a place, make yourself a place.
Mohammad Naeem said a very striking statement. He said "All silence, in any form, is disempowering." 
It's disempowering to everyone. Even yourself.

No Posts For March?

Whoops. 
I'm trying to be good. I swear. 
I have a lot of good ideas for this blog. Lots of big things on the horizon.
Well, really just the one pertaining to the blog. The rest are for me.
Recently, whilst the Alaska Bear was with me and the roomie in the city, he bought me a cookbook (possibly my favorite type of book) at the Strand Bookstore, otherwise known as a heaven on earth.
This cookbook is called International Night, it's a collaboration between Mark Kurlansky and his daughter, Talia. Once a week for 52 weeks, Talia would randomly point to a place on a spinning globe. Wherever her finger landed is what the theme for the night would be. From Sweden to Niger to Hawaii.
Not only do I plan to follow their adventure from the book beginning this summer 2015 til the summer of 2016, for each country I'll continue the creativity by creating a 'dream vacation' for the place.
I'm hoping it will inspire me to take one of these trips (or all of them) as well as cook some new and exciting foods.

              It feels nice to have a new and exciting project in the future, school has been keeping me busy and it seems as I get more comfortable here I take on more responsibilities. I have now moved from staff writer at the Stony Brook Independent to Copy Editor. Exciting and more work. But I enjoy it.
              Sometimes, I'm not convinced I need to be here for a journalism education, mostly because I'm sure that you need one to be a journalist, though it is nice to have. But then I remind myself: I'm not really here for that. I'm here for the opportunities. I'm here for experience. That is what will help me.
             At the end of the day, Stony Brook and the Island are just stepping stones, making my path easier. It will be me who creates a life and a career for myself by simply being myself and finding my niches. Finding what makes me unique and using that to create and do good work.

Alaska remains as ever not in the least a stepping stone but rather a strong bow that shot me here. I'm forever grateful for being an Alaskan.