Get Inspired, Be Inspiring.

        Time to get real. I'm saying this to myself. I'm over the period of initial transfer, wherein people ask about you, where you are from, what you do, why the hell you moved from Alaska to a 'random' place like Stony Brook. I feel in myself that I've become boring. I know it's not that I am boring, but simply one cannot talk about themselves forever without anything else for input. It's tiring.
       The first few times I got the "Alaska Reaction" it was okay, I'm excited to tell people about Alaska. But after a while when asked where are you from, I'd mumble slowly "...Alaska.." I'm a little done with it. Not done with telling people about Alaska, it will always be awesome and beautiful and wonderful, but just done with the big reaction towards myself. I want to feel that awe about someone else.
      So, I've made the executive decision to make my life more interesting and I truly believe to do this you must be inspired by other people. You must learn about and talk about others accomplishments and weird attributes. A person who listens and encourages others is a crucial part in being a person who inspires others. An interesting story creates but a spark of inspiration and I want a flame.
      Overall, I feel like the boring parts are coming from a rut that I'm stuck in and the only way out is indulging in others stories, moving away from my own. Then to create a balance and mutual giving and sharing. This is where the fun starts; when you can bounce off one another, whether it's funny, sad, or serious, is where you stop feeling boring and start being interesting. I guess what I'm really missing is friendship. But don't worry I have some friendships budding and blooming with my roommate and with my new team.

Frozen lands and Hazelnut Coffee

         It's funny how many things remind me of home or people I miss. Sometimes it's the random things and things I knew I enjoyed but didn't realize I loved. Hazelnut Coffee- always has been one of my favorite flavors of coffee, was definitely the coffee that put me in the best mood and cheered me up. Today, I jumped at the chance when I saw hazelnut was being brewed in the Union Cafe. When I started drinking it, it reminded me of my dorm at UAF, driving to work in the summer after getting coffee and a bagel at Bruegger's, and just gave me a general happy feeling.
              One that surprised me more was warm socks. After weeks of not really wearing socks (because, honestly, why- it's too hot), I put on a pair of cozy socks so I could put ice over my ankles. As soon as I had them on, I was so comfortable and happy. I had missed them, but not really recognized that I missed them. Another that blindsided me: the cold. I miss the cold so much. Maybe not 20 below, but at least below freezing. Never really thought of myself as a cold weather person, but if I'm not, I'm at least a temperate weather person. The heat is nice- for a little bit...and if I'm on vacation...on the beach. But the cold for me is just as wonderful as the heat is for others. It's cozy, homey, and all around beautiful.
            This isn't a sad commentary about how much I miss home (although, it's true I miss it in all it's beauty, but I know I'll go back now and then). This is me embracing this new experience of how being away from home and normalcy makes you get to know yourself more.
              By being out of our comfort zone we are pushed to recognize what we feel strongly towards and what we have little care for. I like to think that one reason for this is because you now are the only thing truly from your home, now it's up to you to create the homey feeling which we all crave no matter where we go. It creates honesty with yourself and, for me, a lot of fun finding out what things I really love and then wanting to truly embrace them. It's the kind of experience that is perfect for instilling passion in yourself and connecting with others. There is much I now realize I didn't actually do back home that will now be items to check off my list when I return. This is probably the best thing about being so far away.

Identity Crisis?

         I never realized how much Alaska was a part of my identity until recently. Not for the reasons you'd think, such as people calling me Alaska, or recognizing me because I am from there, or even how often I use the Alaska Card, but simply thinking about getting New York State residency. The past couple of days I have been looking into getting residency as I'll be here for school for three years and it would mean saving about 12,000 or more in tuition. As I learn about it and start to wrap my head around it, the reality is actually sinking in and it makes me a little sick to my stomach. I don't want to give up my Alaska residency. I don't want to stop being Alaskan. I know that I will always be Alaskan; I was born there, I grew up there, it's home and will always be where my heart is. Still, it feels weird that I would be actually moving to another state. Voting with another state. Being part of some other community.
         Another thing creating butterflies in my stomach is the travel bug. I definitely have it and it's making me sick and nervous not doing anything with it. I feel like traveling is part of my identity. I need to do it and I yearn to do it. I'm feeling pressure from unknown sources (most likely my mind, my over analytical, anxiety-filled mind) that I won't have the life I want. The life of traveling everywhere, seeing all the things I want to see. I'm trying to pay attention to so many things, trying not to miss opportunity, but in spreading myself so thin, I think that I am. What is an identity of a traveler? Do I get to be a traveler or am I a traveler? Do I actually have it in me and will I do it?
Not knowing is creating a nervousness inside that is most likely the reason behind those times when I don't know why I'm crying.
            Is it the moving for good that scares me or is it the fact that legally I won't be Alaskan? Both, most likely. Is it the feeling I won't get to travel scaring me? Or am I scared of the meaning behind why I feel like that? Am I possibly over worrying and over analyzing? MOST DEFINITELY YES. 
Will that stop me? UNFORTUNATELY NOT.

Crisis not averted, but subdued. More on this next time, Love your Alaskan(?) Traveler(?) Student(!)

Sweat, Baby, Sweat

         I'm not sure I've ever sweat this much. It takes some getting used to that you will sweat no matter what you are doing. Just got out of the shower, nice and clean- too bad, you're sweating. Sitting in your dorm writing on your blog- sweat. Caution: walking, day or night, leads to sweat. I've been trying to embrace it, but it's hard. Also, gross.
         On the topic of sweat, I'll be possibly playing in the Women's Rugby game tomorrow at noon. Regardless, I'll still be cleating up and warming up, but I hope to play, it's really the only way I'll learn and improve. So far, rugby has been awesome and I'm slowly learning, hopefully getting better, but I'm probably not the best judge of that.

In Other News:
          My roomie got a working fridge! YAY! This is exciting. Extremely exciting. Especially after the ordeal of Fridge Numero Uno that forgot how to fridge. It decided to succumb to the Long Island way and decide to just stay room temperature...which for us here on the third floor is somewhere in the fifth level of hell.
          I've been secretly planning a snow dance in hopes that I will see it here on The Island. Hopefully this works, as my rain hopes came true. And if it does snow, I'm sorry Long Island, you can pin that one on me. I'll take the blame. But I'm scared that the dorm, ignoring any outside temperature drop, will remain to be forever the fifth circle in the Inferno. This would be a tragedy.

I'm Back! With Good News!

From the News Blackout and my apparent hiatus from blogging. But good news from the Island:

IT'S RAINING.

I've never been so happy to see and feel rain in my entire life. Me and the roomie ventured to the outside. To her it feels like home. To me it feels like anti-heat, which is pretty much as close to home as this place may get. Rumor has it, the Island has a spazz when there is an inch of snow. Let's see what my snow dance brings, as my rain dance was fruitful. 

This week has taught me a lot. In the sports realm it has been like this:

Rugby: It's awesome, all around. The girls are nice and tough, the game is fun, the coaches are tough, but helpful and nice. Also, it may break me. Until I get in proper shape, my legs will move like Frankenstein's monster. And my body will be sore in every possible way.

Equestrian Team: Maybe worth it, maybe not. The girls do not seem as helpful as the rugby girls and I have to do everything myself even though I literally have no clue about anything and know no one. But I'm feeling my love for riding creating an ache in me. So I may have to bite the bullet in order to pursue an activity I love.

Other lessons that have been featured this week are:

• Never use the second door of the transit bus to enter. Your groceries will get stuck and you will look like a monkey gripping a banana in a jar. Whilst others will simply stare at you, not helping in anyway, such as agreeing to hold your stuff or agreeing to tell the bus driver about your situation even when you ask. Others outside the buss will offer helpful, sane advice, which you will ignore due to your anger at the people inside. All together: It's a bad idea.
• Always read the fine print. Otherwise you and your roommate will sit there waiting for a bus that will not show on Sundays and missing the two others that would take you to the mall.
• Don't venture to the creepy basement with out a buddy. The laundry room lights will not work and you will have to drag all your stuff back up to the third floor. 
• Do stick it to the man by sneaking trailmix into the football game, but don't put it back in your purse open. It will be an awkward thing for you to dump out of your purse in public when you realize days later that it spilled everywhere. 

There was more, I'm sure, but those are the highlights. Have a good day, hopefully you can be less awkward and klutzy than me!

Double Post!

         This image and quote I see floating all over Facebook has always bothered me. I was about to comment on the persons post, but decided through better judgement I should rather voice my opinion through my own blog and not offend her/him with any of my own ideas. It's easier this way. Still I feel like this image needs to be addressed. I wholeheartedly disagree with this. No amount of persuasion will lead me to agree. If you were spanked as a child and have respect, which does not stem or is based in fear, than I believe this more likely a correlation, which is not causation.

         There are many reasons spanking is dying out in parenting methods. My parents, whom were spanked as children, did not spank me nor did they my siblings. Spanking may command respect, but often out of fear and or hatred. Simply as one would not hit another student on a playground who has cheated at kickball, a parent should not hit their child for misbehavior. After many spankings, it can become an insignificant discipline.
          I feel that this campaign, if you would like to call it that, is based in ignorance. I would hope that the people reposting this are not privy to cases in which spanking has been so severe it has emotionally impacted the individual or that they are not aware of other effective parenting methods. I think this campaign is based in the assumption that our youth population is not disciplined enough or are disrespectful. However, effective discipline should come from a place of love and caring and respect is not an enforced rule, but a result of knowledge and learning.
           I agree that this is my opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. If you would like to share yours, whether it is different or similar to my own, please do, but I ask that you do so in a respectful manner and demonstrate that their is value and reason in others opinion.

     

An Alaskan in Hot Weather

       It's hot here. I mean, it gets hot in Squarebanks, but there isn't humidity and I feel like it's just different. 80 in Alaska, is hot, but I can live with it. 80 on the Island? Nope. My drawers are a mess due to the fact that every time I go to get dressed, everything is too hot and I fling it off myself and into the drawer in a frustrated tantrum. To make it worse, there is no air conditioning in my dorm. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but considering the third floor is equivalent to a stuffy old closet on the fourth level of hell, my little fan is not enough to make this room feel the least bit normal.
        This should be a disability-- I'm not equipped to handle this heat. The only things I can wear are shorts and light tops. I have limited shorts and my tops all feel too hot. Plus, I'm sweating all the time, so that makes it difficult to feel comfortable in clothes. SBU: Can we please be a nudist colony campus? It may make the heat tolerable.
            I looked at the monthly forecast- it stays this hot all the way through September!!! I thought all months that end in -ber were supposed to be cold! When is fall? I really can't wait for that to come. Either I'm going to spend a lot washing and rewashing my only suitable clothes or I'm going to need to invest in a few more summer pieces. And I mean SUMMER, New York. Not these long pants and jackets I see many wearing. It's far too hot for pants.
Till this Alaskan becomes acclimated to the hot Long Island whatever this extremely long season is called, it's no pants.
Love the sunburned, sweating Alaskan on the Island.